well its been a real long time since ive posted. lets catch up a bit. been busy this quarter cause took twenty one units, and thought i was gonna do horrible but i made it to the tenth week with high hopes. took my finals and i knew i nailed a few of em and not so well on the others. well im on break now and i checked my grades and to my surprise my lowest grade was a B.. yea caught me off guard too, it was my hardest quarter and i got the best grades ive gotten in a while. i guess whatever i was doing worked. thats basically how academics went last quarter. as for personal life i just turned 21 as of march 13th. man to those who werent at my party on the 5th you missed out. i had such a blast even though i only made it through half the night before passing out. damn bastards made me drink to fast o well i still had a great time. as for the opposite sex who knows cause i sure as hell dont know whats goin on hehe as usual, its a hazy area right now but whatevers sooner or later things will work out someway somehow. lets see what else, well for spring break im not going to be doing anything exciting could have went to tj, rosaritos, or vegas but due to circumstances i ended up not going anywhere but home and back. well  cant think about anything else to write about right now, just really happy i got decent grades and i hope i figure out my living situation soon cause i dont know where im gonna be spring quarter.

p.s. to some of you out there im done keeping you warm time to go find another blanket and to all the girlies reading this i like your shoes....(you all know the rest)haha

well my intuitions were right. like i said earlier i had a feeling something bad was gonna happen to me, and today was the culmination of every damn thing. i decided to go home yesterday and stay over cause i needed to get out of pomona and some of the people there. i go home and my dad starts telling me to watch my sugar level cause his diabetes he has starting acting up bad. not to mention the amount of stress on his head cause of financial reasons. were still in debt for the house, he totaled his brand new cadillac he bought just like 3 or 4 months ago. and i feel so bad cause he was so happy when he got it. he never gets himself anything, he always provides and gives everything he can to others, thats why i am the way i am sometimes. i guess its just inert genes or something. then i went to see my mom to tell her i was home and i saw her on the stairs, and i was like hi mom im home. she said where are you? and im like right in front of you. she was facing to the side and she turned her head really slow and looked at me and said o hi. her face was all tired and her eyes swollen, and she was slowly moving around the house. i then went to her room later and asked whats wrong, turns out she has vertigo.. basically she cant move too fast or the room will start spinning uncontrollably and she could pass out. shes on some heavy ass medication and theyre not sure if its temporary or permanent, just fucking great. so she has like a neck brace thing she wears to prevent her moving her head around as well. i found out all of this after one of my friends had a panic attack unfortunately because she almost got hit because of some stupid fucking driver when she was crossing the street. so all this shit is running through my mind not to mention the fact that me myself am having some head problems. like im starting not to care about anything anymore. everything i hold dear to me, my principles, morals, friendships etc.. this has been goin on in my mind for a while and i cant figure out why. its frustrating and angering because thats not the person i am and not the person i ever hope to be. so all of this negative energy and emotions are inside of me just waiting to come out. and the x factor will be my fucking stupid ass roomate, hes a cocky guy that just says all this bs and thinks hes the smartest person in the entire world cause no one can prove him otherwise. he also has a whole bunch of other crap wrong with him but whatever. i just know if he comes to me at the wrong time im gonna end up doing something im going to regret. so ive been trying to avoid all interaction with him and other people that are close to me. i dont want to release all these pent up emotions at the wrong time to the wrong people cause none of you deserve anyhting bad. im sorry if i worried the people i told in person but i had to tell you guys cause i think im just gonna pretty much avoid as much contact with everyone as i can. well i gotta get to sleep i have class tommorow morning, and im hoping i can keep my focus on my studies cause i think thats the only thing i can focus on.